Percy Jackson and the Lighting Thief.

Um, I don’t even remember. It has a lot of stars in it. Uma Thurman. Pierce Brosnan. Rosario Dawson.

OH AND SEAN BEAN. BEANS. BEANY. THE BEANSTER. even though he was in it for 10 minutes

It was one of those films where we sat there pointing out inconsistencies the whole way because there was nothing to pull us in (except Sean Bean, but then he leaves you).

Like this one part, where the daughter of Athena is like, hey, my mom is the goddess of wisdom so OBVIOUSLY I am the smartest.

Well guess what, bitch? Just because my parents are doctors don’t mean I can just start doctoring people. Not how things work.

And I don’t remember Persephone being such a slut in the myths.

Also…the beginning seemed nice because, oh look, they have someone with crutches and someone in a wheelchai—oh, wait. They have really cool powers like being half-horse and half-goat and can actually move around better than humans.

There was a council of Elrond Zeus at the end.

Oh, and there was a Balrog. But it was cool cause he was played by Steve Coogan, whom I love.

Speaking of, one nice thing was…um, the effects. Because VFS REPRESENT.

AND JAKE ABEL WAS IN IT. With a dumb character and blond hair but still. Adam, my love.

OH OH OH. One more Supernatural thing….Julian Richings was Charon! He wasn’t able to express all his awesomeness since he was also in it for only two minutes, but still, one of the more entertaining characters anyways.

And did I mention. SEAN BEAN.

All is forgiven. By me, as an unattached movie watcher, that is. I feel bad for fans of the books. Apparently, the film screwed them royally.